What's In A Name?

I'm in the waiting room of the doctor's office just hanging out while my son has some testing done, and a woman comes in with her son. She tells him, "Kahn, sit down and wait for Mommy," then goes to the window to check in (by the way, the only reason I know how his name is spelled is because she had to spell it for the receptionist). Now, if this kid were of Asian or Indian descent, it wouldn't be noteworthy in the least. However, this kid and his mother's last name is unmistakably Anglo-Saxon in origin, and they are both very clearly of Anglo-Saxon descent in appearance.

As parents, we have the unique privilege of naming our offspring whatever the hell strikes our fancy. Make no mistake, however, that with that privilege comes an awesome responsibility, because most people will keep that name for their entire lives. What kills me is that some people don't seem to take that into account when they name their children. Let's take Kahn, for example. I don't know about you, but I have been a real smart-ass my entire life, and have run into more than my share of annoying jerks. For that matter, I've been an annoying jerk on more occasions than I choose to recall.

Knowing that, what's do you think is the first thing that jerks and smart-asses like me think of when we hear the name "Kahn?" Yes, Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan. Hearing a name like that is a clarion call for smart-asses and jerks of all walks of life to crank our heads back, shake our fists at the sky and cry out in mock anger, "KHAAAAAAAN!" Guaranteed, this is what this kid has to look forward to for the rest of his life. Thanks a lot, Mom and Dad. I'll remember this in therapy.

Even better (or worse, depending upon your perspective) is this boy that was in my son's class one year named Repton. Apparently, he was named after some town in England. I don't know about you, but I haven't seen a hell of a lot of boys in America named Repton. In fact, counting him, I would have to say I have only met one person with that name. Now, any kid or anyone with kids has certainly seen, or at the very least, heard of a cartoon on Nickelodeon called Rugrats. On that show, there is a movie character that all children love called Reptar.

You do the math.

I guess the big problem with names is that some become notorious through no fault of our own. Take the name Damien, for example. The name has been around for hundreds of years, unmolested and minding its own business. Then, the movie The Omen came out, and the name of the main character was Damien. Afterwards, people were frightened of the name because it sounded to close to "demon" and they didn't want their kid associated with the spawn of Satan. Nevermind that it was a just a fucking movie.